Is this it?

Lately, I've been thinking about life. I'm thinking that it is way to short to spend it in a mindless rut of survival. You know what I mean, just trying to make it through the day with everyone still alive. For the last couple of years, I've been in survival mode. I'm sure it was timed with having to move back to CA from a place I loved where there are people I love, however, there has got to be a way to make it work here too. I question God's purposes for putting me in this mindless rut of survival but I do know He has a reason, which is comforting. I sometimes think I should do something radical to simplify life...move to something cheaper (my house payment is about to eat me alive)....cancel all extra expenses that detract from life (TV, internet, etc.)....live in a Christian commune (do they exist?)....move back to WA. I don't know, I just want something different. I want my kids to be different (in a good way). I think it would be really nice to be having some fun. I welcome any ideas you loved ones can dish out.

Is this it? I hope not!
Janice